If you cannot deal with live animals, human body parts, being watched constantly, and boisterous people, then stay away from this place!
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"This was the best money I spent all week! And I know it's all true!"
- South Jersey Postal Worker
"I love the loud lady screaming on the fork lift!"
-Facebook Comment
"Absolutely hysterical!"
- Journalism Professor
Here is an excerpt of Goin' Postal: True Stories of a U.S. Postal Worker:
Jessica's
second day started out normally until she saw a black woman driving a
forklift, blasting the horn and screaming, “All you white devils
must die! The Lord told me that your day is coming soon!” Jessica
was scared to death. She felt her pulse start to race, her
respiration increased, and she tried to devise a way to stay out of
this woman's way. Everyone knows the term “going postal” and she
did not want to be anywhere near someone who was going to start
shooting! She made sure that she steered clear of this woman as much
as possible, forming a wall around herself made of containers called
APCs. Each APC was about six foot and on wheels. Jessica continued
over the next few days to hide from the woman while surrounded by
these APCs, ducking her head down every time she saw the crazy woman
drive by. One day however, the black woman purposely ran her
forklift into one of these containers, breaking Jessica's wall of
fortitude, and screamed, “Gotcha!”
“Hello”
Jessica said very timidly, not knowing what to expect. Perhaps if I
am quiet she will not notice my blue-eyed blonde, very white devilish
complexion that turns into a lobster in the sun!
She
seemed startled herself, “Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were Erica.
Do you know where she is?”
Thankfully,
she was looking for Jessica's co-worker, “Sorry, she is not
scheduled today. She will be in tomorrow.” Jessica hoped her
politeness would keep the woman from trying to attack this “white
devil”. The woman just thanked Jessica, and went on her way. She
wondered if the woman had just had a bad day when Jessica first saw
her screaming---either that or the woman was bipolar. Wow... dodged
a bullet on that one! Maybe even literally. Jessica found out later
that her name was Terry, and she was actually a very nice
person---just loud.
There
were plenty of loud people who worked there, some were to be taken
seriously, and others not so seriously. Part of the problem with
being new in any environment is the lack of knowledge of correct
procedures. Another problem is that with so many different people
working in one environment, it is nearly impossible to satisfy
everyone. Jessica had to learn this the hard way. A soft spoken man
in his sixties walked Jessica around showing her from where to get
mail once she was finished processing the mail she had. "When
you finish sorting the mail you have, go to that section across the
aisle and get a full container of mail to bring back with you.
Whenever you take a full container, please replace it with an empty
one. Not only does this save the person in that section time, but
that person will respect and appreciate you for your consideration."
Sounds simple. Take a full container, and give them an empty so that
they can fill it again.
An
hour later, Jessica finished her mail, and did what she was told. She
pulled an empty container across the aisle, took her full container
of mail, then went back to sorting her mail. Ten minutes later she
heard the loud clang of metal, as well as yelling that was very deep
and angry. The voice was coming closer to her, "Who the hell
keeps bringing these empty containers over here? Was it you? Does it
look like I need anymore freaking containers? I work with the world's
biggest idiot who has 40 freaking containers here! I don't need
another container until the end of the freaking millennium thanks to
him! If you EVER bring me another freaking container, I will push all
40 of my containers into your section so that YOU cannot walk in your
section the way I can't!" This man was literally throwing these
rolling containers into others. His hands were flapping around in the
air, his face got really red, and he was so incredibly mad that he
was perspiring. As veins bulged from his temples, he screamed,
"That's it! I need a freaking beer!" The man then walked
away.
When
Terry the forklift driver heard the commotion, she approached the
confused Jessica, "Don't worry honey, he's crazy. Everyone knows
that. He is one of the ones at the top of the list. Just try to avoid
him."
Now
even more confused, Jessica asked, "He's on the list? What
list?"
"You
know, the list of people in the building most likely to go crazy and
shoot up the place. One day, he will probably go off, so in the mean
time, try to be on his good side--- just in case." Terry said
this with such a serious look that Jessica was unsure whether it was
a joke, or real.
Jessica
prodded, "Are you serious? You all actually have a list of
likely shooters?" Jessica's eyes started scanning the area
looking at the faces of other employees, wondering who else might be
on the list, or just how many "crazies" were in the
building.
"Jess
darling, not only is there a list, but there is a betting pool
guessing who will be the first one to go crazy, in what part of the
building, and what method they will use. I have $100 on a supervisor
named Mark, on the platform, with a bomb. You need to talk to Jose
if you want to get in on it." After that, Terry drove away on
her forklift, and Jessica was praying the rest of the day would go by
without incident.
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